Baladeers and Bucaneers
by watchmaker1331
Summary: A mysterious stranger arrives at the 2nd most popular bar in Tortuga...A bard weaves tales of evil pirates...What will happen next? Urghh, that was bad...please read anyway!


**I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean, as I am obviously NOT Disney. I_do_ own the poem contained in the text, entitled _The Ballad of the Envy_. I worked very hard on it…please don't steal!**

R&R, also, but please make them at least remotely intelligent. No "Wow, UR cool!" or "UR stewpid, LOL."

* * *

**_Somewhere in the depths of Tortuga…_****_  
_**

Light spilled out onto the cobblestones as a cloaked man swung open the door of the inn. A raucous crowd parted infinitesimally to let the newcomer through; drops of ale glistened in the air before plunging to Earth like so many golden raindrops. The visitor brushed some of those droplets from his dark cloak and shoved his way through to one of the few unoccupied chairs; this was, after all, Tortuga, where every day was a holiday.

The stranger declined to order a drink, drawing angry glances from the drunk bartender. His anger was quickly forgotten as the man extracted tattered bag from his cloak. It clinked happily as it fell to the table, telling of a great many coins that it must contain. "I'll buy next round," he said, tossing the bag to the bartender, who gave a toothless grin.

"Next round on the gentlemen in the corner!" he called. The bar erupted into yells of joy. This was the second most popular drinking establishment in all of the island; this meant that half of Tortuga's residents were there. No man had bought a full round almost…well, never.

This fact drew the attention of the tavern's resident bard. He approached the man who had procured enough gold to buy drinks for almost ten-score people, his short musician traipsing along behind him. The pair was quite a sight; the tall, lanky bard with handsome features and warm smile and the squat, ill-favored lute guitarist with bulging muscles and gruff expression. The cloaked man's mouth twitched into a smile; it reminded him of a pair from his past…a wily sea captain and his harsh first mate…but that was long gone now. That captain would be long dead, deserted on one of the Caribbean's many uncharted cays. And the first mate…well, he was as good as dead as well.

The bard and his musician bowed low to the cloaked man, raising their hands for silence. To the bearded stranger's surprise, the crowd quickly obliged; apparently this bard was a favorite for evening entertainment. He cleared his throat dramatically. "I am Timothy the Bard, and this is my man, Gerard. Gerard and I, as many of you know, have sold our souls to the Devil himself to acquire our skills." He paused, smiling. The crowd erupted into peals of drunken laughter; this was a well-known joke. The stranger's face tightened, the smile gone. If the bard noticed, he gave no sign, plunging into the night's repartee. He began with jokes and the standard bawdy ale ditties, which the crowd joined in enthusiastically. The songs grew progressively longer as the evening wore on; finally, the bard bowed, calling once more for silence.

"Our excellent benefactor, this lovely man here," he gestured to the stranger to a roar from the audience, "deserves a song, I think. What about you?" The spectators raised their glasses to the bearded man and cheered. He returned their ebullience with slight smile and wave. "I agree," Timothy replied, clearing his throat once more. He whispered something to his guitarist, who nodded his thick neck. "The Ballad of the _Envy_," the ugly man said, cracking his knuckles. His chubby fingers stroked the guitar gently; the music couldn't have been more enchanting if the man had been Orpheus himself. The enter inn was holding its collective breath, waiting for the songster to begin.

The young man's face darkened slightly; this tale he would spin was one of danger and fear. He parted his angelic lips in song. The words echoed around the otherwise silent room, ringing like the voices of magic.

**  
**T_he _Esquire_, she set to sail  
The Union Jack unfurled  
Her bonny mission, it was sure  
To sail around the world _

Her escort, the mighty Valiant_  
Plowed on through waters dark  
For pirate waters through they sailed  
And their maps without a mark _

Someone cheered, but he was quickly stifled by his fellows. A sense of worry for the two fictitious ships radiated from the gathered people as the bard continued, his eyes clear and cold.

_Pirates, men with blackened souls  
And rusty steel to match  
Brave throats is what they yearn to slit  
And your fortunes for to snatch _

Black-hearted fiends haunt the waters  
Unsailed by good sailors' hands  
Wait and watch to prey upon  
The ones whose hearts remain on land

Fourteen weeks they were a-seal  
They came upon a bay  
They lowered anchor, gathered sail  
A few nights for to stay

As they settled down to bed  
Their thoughts upon their trove  
The terrifying Skull 'N Cross  
Came a-sailing to the cove

Buccaneers with greed abound  
Their Captain at the wheel  
Her heart was of the blackest coal  
Her blade of Spanish steel

Her name was Black Bess Turtledove  
Her hair as dark as pitch  
Synonymous with many names  
Like "devil," "hag," and "witch"

A scar ran down her pretty face  
From battle fought and won  
Her ship, the Envy_'s darkened sails  
To turn the heart of anyone _

The Envy_ slipped through waters black  
A dreaded sight to see  
The moon a silent witness  
Glowing down upon the sea _

A watchman 'board the Valiant_  
Gazing out upon the bay  
He saw the sails of that black ship  
And fainted dead away. _

A yell went up from the English ships  
"Pirates! Thieves!" their cry  
They loaded cannons, ran out oars  
These British would not fly

Black Bess barred her teeth and grinned  
Her cutlass close at hand  
"Ready cannons!" was her cry  
To frighten any man

The Envy_ pulled up alongside  
The _Valiant_'s gleaming hull  
Pirates and good men would die  
Beneath the Bones and Skull _

They leapt aboard, their battle cries  
Echoed 'cross the bay  
Nary any man would live  
To fight another day

O firing pistol! O clashing steel!  
Resounded in the night  
The battle long continued  
Into the early light

Black Bess cornered Captain Wilkes  
His black against the mast  
Her lip she curled, and leveled gun  
He flinched against the blast

But no sound came, no flash of light  
He reached down for his sword  
Opened his eyes, but there was no noise  
From the vicious pirate hoards

They stood a'gaping at Black Bess  
Her eyes wide in surprise  
A cutlass stuck clean through her back  
As the sun began to rise

She turned in awe to face the one  
Who'd brought her to her knees  
And ended her tyrannic rule  
Across the Seven Seas

The cabin boy, eyes wide in shock,  
Watched as the pirate fell  
For from his dishpan hands had come  
The blade with life dispell'd

They carried her to Envy_'s deck  
They laid her 'neath the mast  
And wrapped her in the pirate's flag  
And then she breathed her last _

The Valiant_'s crew stood upon their ship  
Lowering their eyes  
The battle, it was won, and yet  
Their spirits wouldn't rise _

The Envy_ sailed away that day  
Never to return,  
Haunting no more the waters  
That so long had held its stern _

Sometimes, when the moon is full  
You sail to that 'cursed bay  
The Spirit of the Envy_ comes  
On your soul to prey _

So heed my words, young sailor men  
Who sail through waters dark  
Remember Black Bess Turtledove  
And watch as you embark

Bow your heads, good sailors, pray  
That you don't sail to that lagoon  
For the Envy_'s ghost still sails the deep  
Beneath the rising moon. _

Timothy and the musician bowed their heads, silent. Whoops of joy erupted from the throng, all of them moving towards the pair with glasses of the finest ale outstretched. The two took them gladly, drinking deeply. The bard bowed to the dark man who sat near them, his face shrouded in darkness. "We are thankful for your praise!" he called playing the audience expertly. "But what of you, friend?"

The stranger stood, his chair scraping along the stone floor. The multitudes recoiled slightly, their drunken eyes glazed with fear. In his hand, the man carried a silver pistol. He raised it towards Timothy, his eyes blazing with demonic fury.

But the stumpy guitarist was quicker. He pulled a thin stiletto from his boot and tossed it skillfully into the stranger's heart.

The man grunted slightly as knife sank deep into his chest. The horde of people squealed and headed for the exit; a bar brawl was one thing, but a knife fight was something totally out of their league.

To the musical pair's amazement, the man reached up and pulled the dagger from his chest in a smooth motion, examining the blood-stained weapon in the dim light. His dark eyes still trained on the weapon, he raised his pistol once more and fired.

The musician crumpled to the ground, very dead.

Timothy stared down at the unattractive guitarist and blanched. He had lost many partners, but never quite like that. He raised his shaking gaze up to the man who had so coolly murdered the player when _he_ should have already taken the path to Hell. "Who…what the hell are you?'

The stranger threw the knife downward, where it buried itself deep into the wooden table. He replaced his gun in its proper holster, eyes never leaving the young singer. Suddenly, his knee stuck up like lightning, catching the terrified lad firmly in the groin. The man crumpled to the ground in agony.

The huge bearded man leaned over him.

"It is not wise to speak of death and demons, lad, as you know little of neither," the man said coldly, standing. "Take it from someone who knows."

He adjusted his wide black hat and retied his jacket, stepping over the two comrades. He flicked a golden coin to the ground; it landed directly in front of the bard's pained eyes.

"That's complements of the Captain of the Black Pearl... Should be enough to buy you another ugly midget bodyguard," the Captain said gruffly, making his way to the door. Without another word, the Captain of the Damned stepped out into the moonlight.

_Bow your heads, good sailors, pray  
That you don't sail to that lagoon  
For the _Envy_'s ghost still sails the deep  
Beneath the rising moon._


End file.
